The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste...
...on criticizing yourself during a performance.
It's tough not to though right? I mean there you are--out there on stage in front of an audience performing a scene and things are NOT going the way you'd like them to. Maybe you're not feeling your best, or a line didn't get a laugh like it normally does, or your scene partner isn't giving you what you want/expected, or you don't "feel" it like you did in yesterday's performance, etc;
And so in comes the critic. That little voice in your head that whispers something like, "this isn't good work," or, "you're not doing well," and like a flash of lightning you're not listening to your partner, you're in your head, beating yourself up for something you just did, missing the moment that's happening in the now. I think Peter Brook called this "death to an actor".
It's amazing how powerful this critic can be too. I mean there you are--in a scene in front of an audience but now in your head battling the critic in your mind, doing everything you can to make it go away, to get back to the moment, to get back to just 'playing in the sandbox'. And before you know it, you're exiting the stage cursing yourself, carrying this negativity with you, sinking into what a director friend of mine once called a 'spiral of shame'.
It's a waste guys and girls. Acting is about living in the moment, playing in the sandbox, whatever you want to call it. And as David Mamet said, if you're in your head cursing yourself or congratulating yourself for not feeling/feeling things in a moment gone by, you're missing the NOW! You're missing the moment that's happening.
Whether on stage or in life, try and calm your critic. Try and be a little easier on yourself. Try and enjoy life moment to moment. Don't worry about the past or the future, trust me--one's gone and the other is coming regardless.
Now if only I could take my own advice :)
5 Comments:
Amen!
So true and an ongoing battle! I had to tell "him" to hush up onstage just a few hours ago...
Don't listen to that voice, I just saw your performance, and you're amazing!
First of all, it was a blast meeting you today! I'm sorry we didn't get to talk longer, but there was hella activity going on. Eh, next time I see the show, it probably won't be so crazy. And I'll bring you flowers so as to avoid feelings of sibling rivalry between you and Michael! (hahaha! kidding!)
Ahhhhh, silencing the critic is molto difficile! One of my teachers used to make us take a pen and drop it on the floor after we'd given what we felt was a less than amazing performance, because by literally letting it go, we'd mentally let it go, too, but even then it's hard not to sit in the car and think about it. I wish that there was a universal way to silence the inner critic, and that someone would put it into a book.
Aaron, I know your matinee today was an all-student audience for the Open Stages program -- do you think you could post on what's different about performing for that audience, and if you participated in the talkback afterwards, what was that like?
Wonderful Blog Aaron -- thank you for taking the time and effort to create something this. I soak up great advice (at least I try), and as a begining actor, I think your writings are wonderfully helpful.
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