Our worst enemy
Beware: This entry is a bit self help.
I've touched on this before and want to stress again, "Get out of your own way!" I'm talking to all of you out there who, like so many of us, beat ourselves up over every little thing. Whether you're the young perfectionist at school or in sports or the young professional working towards living your dream, stop being so hard on yourself.
I grew up with the 2 best parents and 2 best siblings a kid could ever wish for. I also found myself in the blessed position of finding success in all I tried my hand at. It was thrilling but unbelievably difficult. Why? I didn't know it then, but to keep achieving, to keep besting oneself, to strive for perfection--it is an exhausting and ultimately futile ideal. Maybe not if you're a rocket scientist, but if you're an actor, you're doomed.
I've come to learn from my Yoda (my acting teacher Joan), it's our imperfections that make us interesting on stage.
When I first contemplated that it blew my mind, but it's so true! And I don't think that applies only to people in the theater. I can think of more than a few people in my life who have nothing to do with the arts and would be much happier individuals if they cherished their imperfections a bit more and stopped beating themselves up over things that are past &/or out of their control.
As actors we are in the unique position of having our work put out for it to be immediately reacted to. And often the reaction is not what we expected. So, either on stage or in the wings, we beat ourselves up. The cumulative result of these endless beatings can be a lack of confidence in ourselves and our talents. No matter our successes, our standing ovations, our hugs and compliments, we feel unworthy...perhaps we were ok, but we could have been better.
I say bullshit! Say goodbye to your inner critic, your worst enemy. That parent's voice you're trying to impress, that teacher you're trying to impress, that standard you've simply GOT to live up to. Let it all go. Embrace your talent, believe you're here, doing what you're doing for a reason, and live life both on stage and off with an open heart and no pre-planning. You'll find yourself smiling in the moment. And you deserve it.
10 Comments:
Hi Aaron-
I've been reading your blog for awhile now and always enjoyed it but I wanted to say how much I appreciated this post. It's precisely what I needed at the present moment with the stress of some recent auditions, so.....I'm very appreciative that you posted this. Thank you.
Wow. Thank you :-)
You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. Honestly.
THANK YOU
PS: thank you for the voice teacher advice!
I agree with what Jamie said. That honestly made me feel so much better. Thank you for that!
Hello, i just found your blog when i was searching for vocal health lol. Im a singer and a senior in high school and I hope to be on broadway someday. Ive done a lot of singing, but I dont have any experience with acting really. Your blog has helped me...but I was wondering if you had any tips. Thanks so much. Oh and I want to be in Phantom of the Opera...I believe Im obsessed haha.
Whoah! I don't check your blog for a couple days and I come back to several entries! ;-)
You are dead on about our flaws being the things that make us interesting. I've heard it said before but not as eloquently. An incredibly helpful and empowering concept to remember.
I'm going point my blog readers over to your site and that posting. It's something that every actor should keep in mind.
I don't like sounding like a broken record, but I have to say I totaly agree with all the other comments. I too have fallen victim to "the ultimate critic" and thank you for reminding me that all she has to say is "bs" anyway :D
Thank you for posting this...I needed that reminder. This year I'm in my high school's production of Les Mis. It's my first year of acting, and I want to give it my all and impress everyone, but it's stressing me out! After reading your blog, I feel like I can return to rehearsals more prepared and less focused on what other people think of me. Do you have any tips that you use when you are nervous on stage?
Thank you so much for that post...it has reminded me to keep things in perspective. This year I'm in my high school's production of Les Mis. It's also my first year of acting--and although I want to impress everyone, the pressure to do so is freaking me out a little! After reading your blog, I feel like I can return to rehearsals better prepared to concentrate on acting rather than on others' perceptions of me. Do you have any advice on helping to combat stage fright?
Yes, "Say goodbye to your inner critic." I think learning to do this, this type of insight, represents a significant milestone in not only an artist's life -- but anyone's life. I know for me, perhaps for everyone, it comes down to fear, and you just have to take a risk -- and keep taking them -- by simply just . . . letting go . . . and keep practicing 'letting go' . . ..
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