To See, NOT To Be Seen

Ever get nervous for auditions? Yeah...me too. I keep thinking it's going to get easier, that ease will result from repetition. I remember at an audition last year for The Pirate Queen I passed an established movie actor in his mid 50's in the hall--he was pacing, clearly nervous for his audition. I guess he caught me looking at him and he said, "Man, this never gets easier does it?" My stomach dropped. Here's an established actor telling me I've got 30 years more of nerves to look forward to?!

Well (drum roll) I think I've discovered a way to make auditioning/performing easier for all of us! Bear with me if I wax a bit buddhist here:

When was the mirror invented? I think it was in the 15th Century. Of course for thousands of years humans have had water, glass, metals, etc; to enjoy as reflective surfaces. But it's only for the last few hundred years we've had actual mirrors--surfaces specifically made so that we can study/enjoy our physical image. I hypothesize that this narcissism has, over time, led us to be pre-programmed to care (immensely) about how we are seen by others.

Think about a pack of lions grazing in a field. They are at once relaxed and poised to attack or nap or play...without any sense of their own image...without any sense of being judged by the animals around them. Animals have this advantage yes? To not be burdened by any sense of self image affecting their lives.

As an actor or a performer, the irony is that we are paid to be seen by others, but do our best work when we distance ourselves from caring about how we are seen. In other words, the more we can be like animals--simply seeing what's in front of us, in touch with our bodies and impulses without a self-conscious brain, the easier and more honest our work will be.

We have to consciously re-program our narcissistic bodies. How? That's where Alexander Technique comes into play:

When you drop your awareness into the tip of your tailbone and allow the energy to travel up the spine and out the eyes...the sense of being seen disappears...one only sees. Explore this even further...the senses are awakened...you will hear the cars on the street outside your home, the wind blowing...you'll feel the air on your skin, the clothes on your body, the floor underneath your feet, you'll see detail in the world around you...you will become a sensual being, more like an animal.

Of course this takes practice, but it's a way I've found to simplify auditioning and performing. Instead of trying to deny how much I care about an audition or who's in the audience that night by trying to "not care", I just drop into my awareness and my body, breath, and work on simply seeing, NOT being seen. It's calming, empowering, and easy. I lose the nerves associated with being seen, being judged, and am able to simply focus on my work.

Thanks to C, my Alexander teacher for inspiring this entry.

A Word from Roger

Has anyone seen RENT recently? My buddy Tim Howar (who I met doing ON THE TOWN in London) is now in town playing Roger in RENT on Broadway. I checked it out a few weeks ago and he's unbelievable! When we worked together in London Tim had to sing legit tenor as Ozzie (don't forget we were at the English National Opera). But he teased us constantly with local gigs as the lead singer of his rock band Van Tramp. How a guy can sing high operatic C's and then head off to a pub to kick vocals like Rod Stewart in his glory days, is beyond me. So when i found out Tim was coming to town to play Roger I flipped out. And for good reason...he's the best Roger in RENT I've ever seen.

Timmy, how's the band?

Tim: We're great! We're shooting our first music video here in NY in two weeks for our track "Something" at the Bitter End and then up at Rockefeller Center, and other locations around town. The band's coming in from London and we're genuinely excited!

How are you holding up in RENT with all those kick ass rock vocals?

Tim: Very well. It's actually a low show for me in my range. But emotionally it's a roller coaster and I'm a Six Flaggs type a guy :) The 10th anniversary is coming up and I'm proud to be a part of it. April 18th is the 10th anniversary of the Broadway cast and then a special benefit will be held on the 24th to raise money for 3 separate charities with members of the original cast performing & all alumni including the current cast joining them for the Seasons of Love finale. Big enough plug?

Do you prefer living in New York or the West End?

Tim: Both really. One of my kids' playmates found a bag of unidentified drug substance in Central Park's new playground, but then again, I found a broken syringe in the park near our flat in London. No but really, I did. No but really...at least they weren't mine. Ha! Ok, really I love New York...spring is here...I've realized my one of my dreams--being on Broadway, close to all my U.S. friends and it's pissing rain in London right now.

Alright bro...On The Town revival in '07 at the ENO? You, me, and Garcia?

Tim: Pay us times three-a.

Special Guest Writers: David Greer & Andrew Halliday

Hey so David and Andrew are good buddies of mine and big fans of Light. David is a playwright (Burning Blue, Alice Virginia in London) and Andrew is an actor (Phantom of the Opera (UK), Forbidden City (Singapore)).

David: "The Light in the Piazza... one of the most beautiful musical productions I've ever seen. Amazing music, lyrics, performances, production design. The book. It all starts there. So well crafted, so well understood by the composer and director. Seen it six times now and could probably see it a hundred times more. Literally. Piazza is why I go to the theatre... every time the lights go down hoping that I will see something that is even fractionally as good as this production."

Andrew: "As an actor - I of course LOVE the show as it is one of those rare pieces that explores a whole realm of emotions and is one of those very few shows that you would kill to be invloved with. As Broadway and The West End become more and more commercially driven - Piazza was a revelation when i first saw it last year. I know that everone who is English and has seen the show is waiting with baited breath for it to arrive in London. This is one of those shows that The National Theatre would do a great job with so i really hope that it makes its transatlantic migration sooner rather than later. It is one of those experiences that really affirms why I go to the theatre and why I perform on stage. The only real problem is that all of a sudden my expectations of what great musical theatre can be have been raised and that means that most other shows leave me feeling very unsatisfied. Piazza is one of those rare rare shows that everyone should experience. I am truly inspired by it and by the performances of all the actors in the show. Im sure if you are on this website you may have seen the show but if not - I urge you all to put yourself through the wringer and experience the unique magic that awaits you."

Thanks guys!

(Re)Invent Yourself

Anyone out there watch this new show on ABC called AMERICAN INVENTOR? I first came across the show (like many American TV show imports) while I was living in London last year. And I'm so glad to see it doing well here in the states.

Here's what I LOVE LOVE LOVE about it...it's about living the american dream. The show showcases all kinds of people: 18 to 50+, black, white, hispanic, men and women, rich, poor...and all of them have a dream. Many have spent 10's of 1,000's of dollars and years of their lives obsessing to create a simple prototype of their invention, their dream. And to see a major network give out 50,000$ checks to the top 12 inventors tonight in their pursuit of the 1,000,000$ grand prize...ok I cried...many times.

Because here's the thing guys--it's about having a dream! A dream that you believe so strongly, so passionately in, that you feel like you'll do anything to realize it.

It's about taking your ideas and bringing them to life. Whether that idea is an invention, or a life goal, or something smaller even--a small life change that can be realized on a daily basis...it takes the strength of the human will, the human heart, the human mind, and the human spirit to bring those ideas to life.

I felt like I was in an audition room as I watched some of the inventors pitch their ideas to the panel of judges. Stories of amazing hardship, struggle, inspiration and reckless determination. The ones who won in the end spoke with refreshing honesty, from the HEART, were deeply committed to their stories/their dreams, and had courage, passion, energy, and drive. And those who embodied all of that and were not chosen? It was out of their control. Who's to say they won't continue to pursue their dreams despite this setback.

Again there is the balance: passion, energy, and love, with marketability, realistic potential, and the need for this product in society...things to think about as you pursue YOUR dreams.

I hope this inspires you to think about your dreams/your stories and (re)invents your committment to pursuing them/sharing them with the world.