Be Fear-less

I recently had a friend tell me about a guy she knew who came down with a terribly debilitating case of Bell's Palsy--the cause...STRESS! We started talking about how stress affects all of our lives, and it got me thinking about how I deal with stress now, post-Piazza, vs. how I dealt with it throughout the run.

I realized that I carried around too much FEAR for the last 10 months, and upon reflection, for most of my life actually.

I'd wake up every morning for the entire Piazza run feeling exhausted or ill or completely depleted of energy and worry, "How the hell am I gonna be able to do the show tonight?" or, "How can I possibly do this 5 more times this week?" And yet I'd get to the theater, open my body to the energy and world around me and get through it, enjoy it. Only to sit in a cab on the way home, however, fearing, "Well I better go on vocal rest and not talk till the show tomorrow night." Or, "If I don't get 9 hours of sleep tonight, I'm gonna get sick." Or whatever.

The mind is powerful thing. As my Alexander teacher explained, there's all this energy in the universe and as actors our job is not to tighten around it and carry it with us, but rather: to let it flow freely through our bodies...to open the crown of our heads and let it pour through us, straight down our spine and out our tailbones and shooting out our pinky toes to the other side of the world.

This energy, is a life source when channeled freely, but death when trapped and carried around. The energy flows into our heads and our minds act as this trapping web. We try and think about it or interpret it and thereby, trap it. If instead we simply let it flow through us, it will govern us, and thinking will take a back seat to playing and enjoying life. And that, as I have come to learn/believe, is when I am at my best on stage.

So why not off-stage too? Why wander your days in FEAR of things. Why let that box you've been safely living in, stress you out? We're all gonna die someday so why not LIVE now? I know--easier said than done. Not really! Open your body to the energy of the universe. Let it vitalize you. Drop all the stress you're carrying. If it's yours, deal with it: let it run wildly through you and then let it go out into the universe. If it's your mother's or your father's or your cousin's, give it back to them! Don't carry it in you. Just because someone you know may be a hypochondriac doesn't mean you have to carry that around. It's not your responsibility.

Challenge yourself to be Fearless. It is invigorating.

It's Over

The Light in the Piazza went out last Sunday afternoon July 2nd, 2006. And my heart was broken.

It never dimmed. It never flickered.

In fact, as we approached the final performance, it brightened. And when the orchestra played its first notes of the overture, those of us standing in the vom looking up at the Light, oh the light, felt it burn with surreal intensity.

The energy of the audience was palpable...you could almost reach out into the air and brush your hand through it.

The rest is a blur of tears and thrilling theater. A day, a show, a year I'll never forget.

Thank you to all the fans who reached out to me and the cast over the last 10 months to tell us how Piazza affected your lives. You have no idea how inspiring you were.

This was magical. This was theater at its finest. Those of us who were fortunate to experience it onstage or off will forever hold a place in our heart for these characters, this story, the music, and the light.

May we only be so blessed to experience something with so much heart and truth in the theater again in our lives.